How Do You Know the Economy is Bad . . .

. . . apparently via pictures of insanely expressive stock traders who have nothing else to do but stand around gasping in horror.


Seriously, is the NY stock exchange populated entirely with mimes? And what are they looking at? I mean yeah seeing AIG's stock plummet to 14 cents can't be all that comforting but these people look like they're witnessing puppies being tossed off a 10 story building.

In case you were wondering, this guy's my favorite:

Its Tuesday

I told you.

Eating into my BoSox joy is the fact that we have another dead mouse. It appears that there may not be a council of mouse elders sending out their more well evolved mice constituents to best our trap but rather a litter of orphaned baby mice almost too light to trip the trap. This is very distressing. . . probably more so for Kelly b/c I keep making her dispose of the little mouse bodies but I might have a solution. Check this out:


In other news, I would like someone to explain to me how a single word can mean BOTH of thee things: To utter in musical or prolonged tones, to recite in singing tones or in a monotone. That is the definition of the word intone, which I always thought meant the first part of the definition - to speak in a sing songy voice. Regardless, I don't see how one word can mean to speak in a sing songy voice AND to speak in monotone. Aren't those two thing pretty much mutually exclusive?

In case you were wondering, a US spacecraft has beamed back some first ever, high resolution images of Mercury. I wasn't really wondering about this but it was the only headline on cnn.com that I could bring myself to bother reading. I mean really here were my other options: "Rumors swirl that 'View' co-host is bolting", "Kimmel, Sarah Silverman back on", and "Power Ranger faces death penalty in yacht killing" Really?

Go Sox

So the mouse is back. Well not THE mouse I suppose, another one just like him but smarter.

In fact we've had 3 mice: the original mouse who started the tomato caper, the second mouse who was smaller and nearly escaped the trap, (Kelly found him butt first in the trap like he managed to get in, eat, and turn to bolt, before tripping the mouse crushing bar.) and the third mouse who has actually successfully escaped the trap. . . we found the trap tripped but void of smashed mouse and void of the peanut butter we used to lure him in there.

So apparently this is a bit of Darwinism on display. The mice council of elders sends out the big dummy mouse to see what happens. Blam, he gets smashed but they get a little bit of intel about the trap from his buddy who was watching and nudging "no you first Goober, you're good at this sort of thing, you'll be fine, I'll wait right here". So then they think, we just need a quicker mouse to beat the trap and sure enough they find a brave speedy little mouse who's happy to give it a go. He's marginally more successful but still smashed city.

So now they've sent out a new mouse who is apparently the right mix of speed and smarts . . . You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. . . . but, you've also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. . . so I can clearly not choose the tomato in front of me.

Anyway, its a Monday and that's all I've got right now. Oh that and the nutter post from Friday:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/081003

In case you were wondering, Boston lost last night but they're going to win tonight so its all good.

Cruzin Cooler

Anna, I know what I am getting you for Christmas. . .




Who invents this sort of thing? And why? What impasse did someone get to that necessitated that birth this invention? I mean part of me is horrified b/c I feel like some lazy booz hound tail gate obsessed American invented it to maximize their ability to be lazy and a booz hound. But part of me is sort of proud b/c really where else but America could you invent, market, and sell such a thing. I wonder if they make a hybrid version.

In case you were wondering, it is illegal to "drive" your Cruzin Cooler while under the influence of the very beverage you're carting around. It carries a non criminal charge of "driving while ability impaired". Seriously: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,428408,00.html


It is also Nutter Day, hip hip hooray. I will warn you all that this is comic genius with a bit of a melancholy twist. Erica, it is likely to make you teary eyed.

Remember its ~3/4 of the way down Bill's article in a right hand column bar:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080926

Oh and I wonder if somehow I can get in touch with The Nutter about the Cruzin Cooler b/c maybe Dooze would like add this to her bucket list:

Possibly Plagiarism

Ok so thanks to Becky here is a hilarious SNL skit spoofing Michael Phelps' diet:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/34462/saturday-night-live-michael-phelps-diet

I realize it might be a little bo bo to post other posted content but it is a funny skit and Becky went to all the trouble to find it so I think it should be shared.

Randomly in addition to the SNL skit video I was recently sent two other completely entertaining You Tube videos (yeah I realize the SNL is hulu but whatev). I figure I might as well just have one whole blog entry entirely devoid of original content all in the sake of bringing my loyal audience some chuckles on this gloomy (well around here at least) Thursday afternoon.

So, if you can pardon the lack of creativity I think you will enjoy the following videos:

1. I want one of these as a pet b/c it would be a guaranteed bad day remover . . . head home after a a hard day at work, yell BOO, laugh for hours:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9_CdNPuJg

2. You are going to find it really hard to believe that this isn't a Monty Python skit but it isn't. Its real:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv14BCnBWXs

In case you were wondering, there is rather large quantity of video's about goats on You Tube. I find this rather odd.

In Case You Were Wondering

1. That is a new species of cuttlefish recently discovered in Australia. He is actually one of a 100 or so new species recently discovered, which seems sort of environmentally promising. This tid bit is courtesy of Kelly, who described the little guy as "cute" . . . give him a second glance, he sort of is.

2. The nutter didn't write in her husband's column last week. She does that occasionally, just "takes a week off" from entertaining me. I think its b/c she has 2 kids under the age of 3 and a husband who is a 24/7 professional sports fanatic.

3. Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day when training. Ok so this might be old news to some but I just stumbled across that fact recently. I find it astounding. Here is a day in the life of Michael Phelps' stomach:

Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes.

Lunch: One pound of enriched pasta. Two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo on white bread. Energy drinks packing 1,000 calories.

Dinner: One pound of pasta. An entire pizza. More energy drinks.

I give it another month before McDonald's has a Micheal Phelps Value meal.


4. I know you're not really wondering if PETA is insane but perhaps you were wondering what sort of completely off your rocker things they are lobbying for these days. Well, since I aim to please I can satiate that need to know urge . . . they have petitioned Ben & Jerry's to replace cow milk with human milk in their ice cream. Yeah for real:

http://www.wptz.com/news/17539127/detail.html

The ONLY upswing of this totally bizarre and disgusting idea is the potential ice cream names . . . Double D Chocolate Chunk, Banana Booby Swirl, Your Being Breast Fed Crunch . . .

In case you were wondering, no I do not think breast feeding or breast milk is gross. I am very pro both things when they occur between an infant and its mother. I am just very anti them when someone else's breast milk might appear in my dessert.

I Love the Smell of Bacon in the Morning

This morning I was listening to a podcast of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me quiz show when I learned about an alarm clock that awakens you with the aroma of bacon cooking. I of course had to immediately google this thing to see if it was real truth or embellished truth (Wait, Wait never fibs but they do what they have to, to be funny).

Turns out, its real. There really is an alarm clock out there called Wake N' Bacon that will begin cooking a slice of bacon 10 min before it emits the old school 'beep, beep, beeps'. . . .

http://www.likecool.com/WAKE_n_BACON--Clock--Home.html

To be honest, I don't really think it should be called an alarm clock but rather a nightstand skillet that also happens to blast shrill noise at you if the wafting of bacon scent doesn't rouse you.

I feel like are some significant downfalls, not the least of which is that although you might enjoy the smell of bacon for breakfast time and again, do you really want your entire bedroom and sheets and ultimately you reeking of it? And really, does the average American need to eat a slice of bacon every morning? And I sort of feel like dogs would pose a problem as they grow accustomed to the smell of meat originating from your bed room.

Anyway, its out there and perhaps will be a great success. It is certainly a good first step towards a kindler gentler way of starting your day.

In case you were wondering, this is just the sort of thing that prompted me to name this blog as I have b/c hey, in case you were wondering if you could start your day with the sweet scent of sizzling pork porduct, the answer is Yes, yes you can.