Here, There, & Nowhere in Particular

I am sort of all over the place today. There is no real theme for this here blog post. So, read along at your own peril . . .

First thing I feel compelled to share is some educational entertainment I got from Kim a few days ago. She subscribes to a word-a-day type email thingie and their theme last week was Yiddish - Kim now speaks 4 languages (and Kim, I think Catalun and Yiddish seem to make great linguistic bedfellows so make new friends but keep the old ;)

Anyway, here are a few new words for your lexicon:

meshuga or meshugga (muh-SHOOG-uh) adjective. Crazy; stupid

megillah (meh-GIL-uh) noun. A long, tedious account

schnook (shnook) noun. A stupid, easily deceived person.

Second, I just heard the worst song in the world (at least for now. I am sure someone is out there at this very moment crafting an even worse song. . . in fact probably this guy is).
The song: She left me for Jesus
The "artist": Hayes Carll
I was tempted to include all the lyrics but really I think the chorus is sufficient:

She left me for Jesus

And that just ain’t fair

She said that he’s perfect

How could I compare

She says I should find him

And I ll know peace at last

If I ever find Jesus

I m kicking his ass

Yes, it is a country song. I have nothing more to say about that.

Lastly, there is rumor of some trucking strike tomorrow b/c the price of diesel has reached untenable levels for independent truckers. Liz and I have been mulling this over all day and we can't figure out what going on strike accomplishes when you are your own boss. But we're pretty sure it won't change the price of diesel fuel.

In case you were wondering, I am in 5th place in my March Madness pool going into the Final Four. And although it didn't pan out, this is about the best Final Four selection criteria ever:

"USC has the same colors as my high school, plays 30 minutes from our house and has a best player named "O.J. Mayo." That gets my Final Four vote."

Friday is Fun Day

Today's post is really just a little bit of silly. One of those 'things that make you go hmmmm'. It comes to you courtesy of Liz. Check it out, its pretty entertaining:

How smart is your right foot? This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over
again to see if you can out smart your foot, but you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain.

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you're going NUTS)
and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your
computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with
your right hand. Your foot will change directions.

Go on try it again, but this time really concentrate.

On a totally unrelated note, in case you were wondering, the 29th is Anna's bday. If you know her, wish her a happy birthday. If you don't, I bet there is someone else you know who's big day is coming up so go wish them a happy birthday.

Green Thumbs Are Not Inherited

Green thumbs are not inherited. I know this b/c my mom has a 25 x 20 foot garden bursting with all sorts of hearty, healthy, bountiful goodness. She can grow pretty much anything, anywhere. It was sort of a problem as a kid b/c we always had pounds of zucchini and squash around (yeah Anna, I know, this would be your dream childhood). But we also always had 9 zillion cherry tomatoes at any one moment and those were like little bits of joy. So, it worked out ok.

Anyway the point is, my mom is a tremendously talented gardener. I have inherited a lot of things from my mom (timothy, no comments) but her green thumb is not one of them. I think its sort of a self fulfilling prophesy - like math - I'm not all that good at it so I tend to let others do it for me (now that I am out of grade school that is not considered cheating) so I never get any better and so on. Ergo, I usually leave the gardening to others (see previous post on joining a CSA).

But the other day I went to the store to buy basil for like the 53rd time in 2 weeks. And next to the packaged basil were actual basil plants. And I thought, how hard can it be to grow basil? And then I can stop paying Harris Teeter to be my gardener.

Well, from what I understand, it isn't that hard to grow basil but I still can't seem to do it. I took my little basil plants out of their plastic wrap, potted them in nice little ceramic pots (1/2 potting soil and 1/2 dirt - tip from Kelly), watered them, and went to bed.

I came home the next day (totally forgot to check on them in the morning) and they were mostly a dessicated pile of withered leaves. Only mostly b/c Kelly didn't forget to check on them and gave them more water. Apparently when you pot a new plant you pretty much have to drown it. I didn't do that. I gave each plant about 2 tblsps of water, a woefully inadequate amount, and as a result may have murdered my very first basil plants. Which is apparently really hard to do b/c basil is like a weed, it grows anywhere and a lot.

Not only have my basil plants lost total faith in me, so has Kelly. Yesterday when I got home I went right over to my little basil plants for some water and TLC. . . and their soil was totally soaked. Kelly has taken to watering them for fear that they will never recover under my neglectful watch.

In case you were wondering, they're doing ok as of this morning (day 3). Some of the leaves look well hydrated and healthy. There just might be a home grown pesto in my future after all.

In Case You Were Wondering . . .

. . . .
Here is a cool new band to check out:
http://www.bearfootbluegrass.com/

They are a group originating out of Cordova, AK. The music is 1/2 bluegrass, 1/4 barber shop quartet, and 1/4 old time country (emmylou, loretta, hank (not jr.), gram parsons, etc). Kelly and I saw them at the Birchmere when they opened for the Saw Doctors and it was a rare treat to want the opening band to linger a little longer. The Lovehammers can vouch for them as well and they're actually IN Alaska ; )

Here is a very tasty red wine to try:
http://www.cosentinowinery.com/cosentino/catalog/view_product.jsp?product_id=1117&cat_id=1003

I am not claiming that it will be the greatest Sangiovese you'll ever drink but I found it to be an easy to drink but still substantial dinner wine. It paired nicely with my cioppino and for you locals, you can get it 1/2 price on Monday's at Argia's (http://www.argias.com)

Here is an easy way to see how the Lovehammer's are doing:
http://www.lovehammer.net/

Not everyone knows the Lovehammer's but everyone should.

HAPPY EASTER

Happy Easter everyone. Have a great week-end enjoying family, friends, spring, faith . . . whatever brings you joy and lets you share it.

The Nutter Returns

Ok so you may or may not give two shakes about March Madness (it started yesterday with Xavier vs Georgia) but regardless of your interest in the actual tournament (which is really pretty fun even if you don't care about college basketball) you will LOVE this article:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080318

You will love it b/c it is penned by The Nutter Sports Girl (aka Bill Simmon's wife/The Sports Gal). She is arguably the funniest person I have never met. She guest writes in her husband's weekly sports column for ESPN. How it all started is a long story that is rather irrelevant. All that is important is that this women continues to get a platform from which to share with us such gems as:

1. "A few years ago, my friend Allie was a one-night stand for Halloween . . . I told Bill about Allie's costume and made the mistake of asking what his favorite Halloween costume was. He said it was the time his friend Geoff dressed as a poop. I guarantee that my second husband will appreciate Halloween."

2. "US Weekly has a feature called "Who Wore it Best?" where 100 people in NYC choose between side-by-side photos of two celebs wearing the same outfits, then the results run in the magazine. I hate this feature because the judges have no credentials and could be homeless or Russian for all we know."

3. " Bill and his friend Hench own a fake baseball team together. I call it the League of Dorks. . . Bill said they won first prize. . .Then he said he's having a celebratory lunch with Hench next week. I said they should order a bottle of fake champagne and fake pour it on each other. I hate the League of Dorks.

Ok. I could do that for hours so instead, here is the full archive of The Nutter in all her comic splendor.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=sportsgal/070105

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=bachelor/070403

I sort of wish I could meet her b/c I think it would be awesome to have a friend who was a guaranteed source of insane, random hilarity. But there is part of me that worries that she just might not be as funny in person. Good thing the odds of me ever meeting her hover right around zero.

In case you were wondering, I used her picks for my March Madness bracket. If her totally ridiculous logic is as dead on accurate with Basketball as it is with Football I am totally winning my pool.

Are You My Mother

The other day I was at David's bridal getting my bridesmaids dress for Anna's wedding altered and let me tell you how fun it is to be fully surrounded by mirrors when you're wearing your winter weight and your skin is the color of raw chicken. And if that wasn't delightful enough my alternations lady spun me around a few times, stuck about 502 pins in the dress, sighed and said "you know, we have breast pads we can add to the dress"

I replied "No thanks, I'm not the bride. I'll stick with my own breasts."

She didn't laugh.

Ok but really that is really just a prelude to the real comedy compliments of David's bridal. . .

After scraping my dignity off the dressing room floor, me and my apparently small but thankfully real boobs went up front to pay for my alterations. As the lady was ringing me up I laid my wallet on the counter. It happened to fall open to that flappy thing used for pictures. And as we're waiting for American Express to accept my card the cashier smiled and said, "oh you have a lovely family"

It is a new wallet, the pictures in the picture flap came with and I just haven't cared enough to remove the pictures (or the picture flap entirely). . . here is my lovely family: