Are You My Mother

The other day I was at David's bridal getting my bridesmaids dress for Anna's wedding altered and let me tell you how fun it is to be fully surrounded by mirrors when you're wearing your winter weight and your skin is the color of raw chicken. And if that wasn't delightful enough my alternations lady spun me around a few times, stuck about 502 pins in the dress, sighed and said "you know, we have breast pads we can add to the dress"

I replied "No thanks, I'm not the bride. I'll stick with my own breasts."

She didn't laugh.

Ok but really that is really just a prelude to the real comedy compliments of David's bridal. . .

After scraping my dignity off the dressing room floor, me and my apparently small but thankfully real boobs went up front to pay for my alterations. As the lady was ringing me up I laid my wallet on the counter. It happened to fall open to that flappy thing used for pictures. And as we're waiting for American Express to accept my card the cashier smiled and said, "oh you have a lovely family"

It is a new wallet, the pictures in the picture flap came with and I just haven't cared enough to remove the pictures (or the picture flap entirely). . . here is my lovely family: