No Such Thing as a Cute Squirrel

I have a friend named Erica. She is what one would call an animal lover. She is one of those special people who feel an intimate and powerful kinship to the creatures of the world and she doesn't really discriminate. She has a favorite of course, her dog Finnigan, but other than Finny all animals/insects/reptiles/rodents are the same.

Now she's pretty normal about it. You're not going to catch her throwing red paint at people wearing baby seal coats - although she'd consider it but pretty much anyone with a soul should consider it. She's just an animal lover and in fact she's heading off to veterinary school in the Fall so she can be a professional animal lover.

So you might be thinking ok, great for Erica but why exactly is the blog spot light on her? Well you see a few nights ago Erica and I were hanging out chit chatting about this and that when before I know it she is showing me pictures, on her phone, of a litter of baby squirrels she rescued not long ago. She kept trying to convince me that they were so very cute - as only an animal lover or the mother of a goopy newborn can - when really they looked like goopy alien rodents. Despite that fact that newborn anythings are not cute (miraculous/amazing/pure joy, sure. cute, not usually) these things were squirrels who I am currently at war with. Now not these baby squirrels in particular. But give it time. I have no idea what the life span of a squirrel is but as soon as they can I know they'll be pillaging my garden just like the rest of their kind.

So far squirrels have ruined the only yellow squash my plant has managed to yield, my very first chocolate pepper, and now my very first tomato. And here's the thing, they don't just bite it off the vine and scurry away with it to enjoy in their icky nests in our attic, they just take tiny little bites out of the veggie and leave it there. So, I go out to my garden and I see a a perfectly ripe tomato and I get so very excited (ok, more so then perhaps necessary but it is my first tomato in my first garden so whatever) . . .



And then gently twist it off the vine and on the other side I see this . . . .



My lovely tomato with a big gross rodent bite out of it and you just know that it has been macked all over by little squirrel lips.

So, Erica this is why I don't think squirrels are cute. Not at all cute. I do still admire your animal version of the Hippocratic oath and I am glad to know that when I mow down a family of garden thieving squirrels you'll be there to get them back on their feet.

In case you were wondering (Anna), these are the veggies we got from the CSA yesterday (pen for scale, that didn't come with the veggies)