HAPPY THANKSGIVING

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." -Thornton Wilder

Happy Veteran's Day

I know not all Veterans have been lucky enough to enjoy this sort of celebration but I think its a hopeful and joyful way to think about today.

And if you're a Veteran and can't find yourself a nurse, perhaps you can find yourself in Bangor Maine. Its not quite as sexy but I think it goes a long way:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/11/03/veterans.maine.troop.greeters/index.html

In case you were wondering, the two people in the picture were total strangers. The sailor is George Mendonsa and the nurse is Edith Cullen Shain. Ms. Shain didn't come forward to identify herself as the pictured nurse for over 30 yrs because "I didn't think it was dignified but times have changed." Oh how they have.

Tepid Tuesday

Boston plays tonight at 8:07. I have never understood why baseball games don't start on the hour or half hour. They always start a few min before or after the hour or half hour. Dodgers v Phillies start at 8:22. Why? Can anyone posit a good reason?

The new Ray LaMontagne album came out today. It is gewd. It is raspy voiced mellowness, perfect for back deck sitting, glass-o-wine drinking, fall evenings.

Have any of you ever heard of the phrase "stroked a check"? My brother says the term is sweeping the nation of hipster speak. I have never heard of it. . . and neither had google so methinks it can't be that popular.

That's all I've got for today . . . you shouldn't be reading this anyway, it is gorgeous outside. Back away from the computer and go outside and play.


In case you were wondering, "The Sports Gal took the week off for reasons that remain unclear."

How Do You Know the Economy is Bad . . .

. . . apparently via pictures of insanely expressive stock traders who have nothing else to do but stand around gasping in horror.


Seriously, is the NY stock exchange populated entirely with mimes? And what are they looking at? I mean yeah seeing AIG's stock plummet to 14 cents can't be all that comforting but these people look like they're witnessing puppies being tossed off a 10 story building.

In case you were wondering, this guy's my favorite:

Its Tuesday

I told you.

Eating into my BoSox joy is the fact that we have another dead mouse. It appears that there may not be a council of mouse elders sending out their more well evolved mice constituents to best our trap but rather a litter of orphaned baby mice almost too light to trip the trap. This is very distressing. . . probably more so for Kelly b/c I keep making her dispose of the little mouse bodies but I might have a solution. Check this out:


In other news, I would like someone to explain to me how a single word can mean BOTH of thee things: To utter in musical or prolonged tones, to recite in singing tones or in a monotone. That is the definition of the word intone, which I always thought meant the first part of the definition - to speak in a sing songy voice. Regardless, I don't see how one word can mean to speak in a sing songy voice AND to speak in monotone. Aren't those two thing pretty much mutually exclusive?

In case you were wondering, a US spacecraft has beamed back some first ever, high resolution images of Mercury. I wasn't really wondering about this but it was the only headline on cnn.com that I could bring myself to bother reading. I mean really here were my other options: "Rumors swirl that 'View' co-host is bolting", "Kimmel, Sarah Silverman back on", and "Power Ranger faces death penalty in yacht killing" Really?

Go Sox

So the mouse is back. Well not THE mouse I suppose, another one just like him but smarter.

In fact we've had 3 mice: the original mouse who started the tomato caper, the second mouse who was smaller and nearly escaped the trap, (Kelly found him butt first in the trap like he managed to get in, eat, and turn to bolt, before tripping the mouse crushing bar.) and the third mouse who has actually successfully escaped the trap. . . we found the trap tripped but void of smashed mouse and void of the peanut butter we used to lure him in there.

So apparently this is a bit of Darwinism on display. The mice council of elders sends out the big dummy mouse to see what happens. Blam, he gets smashed but they get a little bit of intel about the trap from his buddy who was watching and nudging "no you first Goober, you're good at this sort of thing, you'll be fine, I'll wait right here". So then they think, we just need a quicker mouse to beat the trap and sure enough they find a brave speedy little mouse who's happy to give it a go. He's marginally more successful but still smashed city.

So now they've sent out a new mouse who is apparently the right mix of speed and smarts . . . You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. . . . but, you've also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. . . so I can clearly not choose the tomato in front of me.

Anyway, its a Monday and that's all I've got right now. Oh that and the nutter post from Friday:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/081003

In case you were wondering, Boston lost last night but they're going to win tonight so its all good.

Cruzin Cooler

Anna, I know what I am getting you for Christmas. . .




Who invents this sort of thing? And why? What impasse did someone get to that necessitated that birth this invention? I mean part of me is horrified b/c I feel like some lazy booz hound tail gate obsessed American invented it to maximize their ability to be lazy and a booz hound. But part of me is sort of proud b/c really where else but America could you invent, market, and sell such a thing. I wonder if they make a hybrid version.

In case you were wondering, it is illegal to "drive" your Cruzin Cooler while under the influence of the very beverage you're carting around. It carries a non criminal charge of "driving while ability impaired". Seriously: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,428408,00.html


It is also Nutter Day, hip hip hooray. I will warn you all that this is comic genius with a bit of a melancholy twist. Erica, it is likely to make you teary eyed.

Remember its ~3/4 of the way down Bill's article in a right hand column bar:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080926

Oh and I wonder if somehow I can get in touch with The Nutter about the Cruzin Cooler b/c maybe Dooze would like add this to her bucket list:

Possibly Plagiarism

Ok so thanks to Becky here is a hilarious SNL skit spoofing Michael Phelps' diet:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/34462/saturday-night-live-michael-phelps-diet

I realize it might be a little bo bo to post other posted content but it is a funny skit and Becky went to all the trouble to find it so I think it should be shared.

Randomly in addition to the SNL skit video I was recently sent two other completely entertaining You Tube videos (yeah I realize the SNL is hulu but whatev). I figure I might as well just have one whole blog entry entirely devoid of original content all in the sake of bringing my loyal audience some chuckles on this gloomy (well around here at least) Thursday afternoon.

So, if you can pardon the lack of creativity I think you will enjoy the following videos:

1. I want one of these as a pet b/c it would be a guaranteed bad day remover . . . head home after a a hard day at work, yell BOO, laugh for hours:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9_CdNPuJg

2. You are going to find it really hard to believe that this isn't a Monty Python skit but it isn't. Its real:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv14BCnBWXs

In case you were wondering, there is rather large quantity of video's about goats on You Tube. I find this rather odd.

In Case You Were Wondering

1. That is a new species of cuttlefish recently discovered in Australia. He is actually one of a 100 or so new species recently discovered, which seems sort of environmentally promising. This tid bit is courtesy of Kelly, who described the little guy as "cute" . . . give him a second glance, he sort of is.

2. The nutter didn't write in her husband's column last week. She does that occasionally, just "takes a week off" from entertaining me. I think its b/c she has 2 kids under the age of 3 and a husband who is a 24/7 professional sports fanatic.

3. Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day when training. Ok so this might be old news to some but I just stumbled across that fact recently. I find it astounding. Here is a day in the life of Michael Phelps' stomach:

Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes.

Lunch: One pound of enriched pasta. Two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo on white bread. Energy drinks packing 1,000 calories.

Dinner: One pound of pasta. An entire pizza. More energy drinks.

I give it another month before McDonald's has a Micheal Phelps Value meal.


4. I know you're not really wondering if PETA is insane but perhaps you were wondering what sort of completely off your rocker things they are lobbying for these days. Well, since I aim to please I can satiate that need to know urge . . . they have petitioned Ben & Jerry's to replace cow milk with human milk in their ice cream. Yeah for real:

http://www.wptz.com/news/17539127/detail.html

The ONLY upswing of this totally bizarre and disgusting idea is the potential ice cream names . . . Double D Chocolate Chunk, Banana Booby Swirl, Your Being Breast Fed Crunch . . .

In case you were wondering, no I do not think breast feeding or breast milk is gross. I am very pro both things when they occur between an infant and its mother. I am just very anti them when someone else's breast milk might appear in my dessert.

I Love the Smell of Bacon in the Morning

This morning I was listening to a podcast of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me quiz show when I learned about an alarm clock that awakens you with the aroma of bacon cooking. I of course had to immediately google this thing to see if it was real truth or embellished truth (Wait, Wait never fibs but they do what they have to, to be funny).

Turns out, its real. There really is an alarm clock out there called Wake N' Bacon that will begin cooking a slice of bacon 10 min before it emits the old school 'beep, beep, beeps'. . . .

http://www.likecool.com/WAKE_n_BACON--Clock--Home.html

To be honest, I don't really think it should be called an alarm clock but rather a nightstand skillet that also happens to blast shrill noise at you if the wafting of bacon scent doesn't rouse you.

I feel like are some significant downfalls, not the least of which is that although you might enjoy the smell of bacon for breakfast time and again, do you really want your entire bedroom and sheets and ultimately you reeking of it? And really, does the average American need to eat a slice of bacon every morning? And I sort of feel like dogs would pose a problem as they grow accustomed to the smell of meat originating from your bed room.

Anyway, its out there and perhaps will be a great success. It is certainly a good first step towards a kindler gentler way of starting your day.

In case you were wondering, this is just the sort of thing that prompted me to name this blog as I have b/c hey, in case you were wondering if you could start your day with the sweet scent of sizzling pork porduct, the answer is Yes, yes you can.

For Sean

I just came across this: http://www.danschawbel.com/personalbranding.htm

And if you read even the first 2 paragraphs you will swear it is an article from the Onion or an SNL skit. But its not, apparently Dan Schawbel, "personal branding expert for gen-y" is a real person with a real service.

In addition to being immediately exhausted by Mr. Schawbel's existence, the site made me think of Sean and a game we used to play decades ago when we were right out of college and living the high life as a ubiquitous yet totally amorphous consultant we used to play a game called Consultant Bingo (yeah yeah, lots of people did just I only played it with Sean). This game (at least between us) really just entailed being vigilantly on the look out for the inane consulting jargon that was infesting even the smartest and most well intentioned of people.

When we came across such nonsensical verbiage we would, in our heads of course, yell bingo and then would email the nonsense to each other. It was really a way of making sure neither of us actually drank the cool aid and succumbed to the paradigm shift of wasting our bandwidth on inside the box thinking. BINGO

Anyway, back to Dan Schwabel, just for a moment. Read the first two paragraphs of his web site and see if you can figure out what this guy is pedaling. He uses about 300 words and so far as I can tell says precisely nothing. Its brilliantly vapid and my guess is that he is actually making money personally branding gen-yers.

It of course saddens me to think that gen-yers (whoever the heck they are) feel the need to create a persona for themselves instead of just actually being themselves. That they believe that Dan Schawbel can craft a better version of them then they actually can just by being whoever it is they really are. But then again how successful can someone who's self proclaimed Major Accomplishment is having interviewed Philip Rosedale and Gina Bianchini. Who are they you might ask? I have no idea but I bet the are very adept at facilitating collaboration among information architects. BINGO

In case you were wondering, I do find the idea of a personal brand somewhat intriguing . . . in a purely for entertainment not in a for profit sort of way. If you had to come up with a marketing slogan for yourself what would it be . . . today ; )

The Nutter is Back

Ok so long story short, the wife of ESPN Sports Writer Bill Simmons gets a mini column of her own in the middle of his weekly NFL pick column. It is approximately 500 words of pure random hilarity. She is literally one of the funniest people I have ever read, not met, would love to meet.

Anyway, her mini column appears in Simmons' column every Friday. I missed last week's entirely and caught this past week's late. So, here are the past two week's columns:

NOTE: you can find the Nutter's column in the right hand side about halfway down the page. They call it "Sports Gal's Rant" but she never really talks about sports and although it is often times a rant they completely missed the fact that she's delightfully insane, so I just go with The Nutter.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080904

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080912

Enjoy!


Nichole usually provides me with her favorite lines of each post but she's pretty busy this fall so in case kingergarden trumps liesure blog reading . . .

In case you were wondering, here are The Nutter's weekly gems:

Week 1: "There should be a fantasy handicap that works like golf handicaps. Bill writes about sports so he should have a minus-5 handicap. Someone unemployed should be a minus-10 (BTW, I have no idea how golf handicaps work)."

Week 2: "Pursuers plan Vegas weekends or baby showers; pursuees just show up."

Lists, I Love Lists

Wanna know if your city has one of the Top 10 Worst Commutes?

According to a study conducted by the Texas Transportation Instititue, which examined the fuel and time commuters waste because of congestion, overall traffic congestion wastes 2.9 billion gallons of fuel and 4.2 billion hours.

So, wanna know where your commute ranks:
http://climate.weather.com/articles/gotgas2008a.html?page=2


While we're at it, how about the 25 best places to find affordable houses near the water and other desirable activities: http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2008/moneymag/0809/gallery.bpretire_affhomes.moneymag/index.html

Some of the places seem like viable options. North Augusta, SC seems rather delightful in fact. That said, the fact that a Human Pyramid on water skies or proximity to Jackson, MS are listed as high points makes me question that these folks really share my definition of entertainment and culture.


In case you were wondering, yes I find the photos selected in that Top 10 list to be exceedingly odd and somewhat horrifying. Not that accidents don't cause congestion but they certainly aren't the day to day reason behind it and regardless I don't think photos of grisly car accidents are necessary.

September 11th

There is nothing and everything to say about this day. I have my thoughts and feelings and I am guessing you have yours. And honestly I can't really find a way to express myself. Everything starts to sound trite, or preachy, or maudlin, or melodramatic. So, I decided not to say anything.

So, you might wonder why I would even bother with a post today . . . when, on so many other days that I have nothing to say I just wantonly abandon the blog. Well I guess the one thing I do have to say about today is that it is September 11th and that should always matter. It should always be noted. . . in whatever way you want to note it.

Me personally, I'll note it a few ways today. One of which will be a visit to the newly opened Pentagon Memorial: http://www.defenselink.mil/home/features/2008/0708_memorial/index.html

If you happen to live in the DC area or are gonna come by for a visit some time you might want to add this to your list of sights - I wouldn't pack it in with a visit to the Holocaust museum or The Wall but perhaps after some paddle boating around the Jefferson and a wander through Air and Space.

Anyway, it opens to the public tonight at 7pm and will be open henceforth 24/7.

In case you were wondering other things happened on 9/11, and they were good things. Namely JB and my Uncle Frank were born today.

Success?

So the mouse is dead. I caved and got a trap that kills and it did the trick. Dead mouse, check.

In other news, I finally joined Facebook. I finally realized after yet another get together with friends I thought I was in touch with that there is this whole other level of "in touchedness" that I am not part of. But like it or not Facebook is slowly killing off such totally useful but now obsolete things like email, IM, and cell phones. All the ways we used to keep in touch are now secondary, dare I say tertiary, to Facebook. And b/c I like keeping up with my friends and seeing pictures of Chandler's first day of kindergarden, I joined. Sheep, lemming, in touchedness, check.

That's all for now. . . I have to go count my friends and figure out what the heck Mob Wars is.

In Response to a Comment

So, I actually do read the comments you guys leave . . . I love them actually. They make me feel like I have sort of hung out with you a bit, like we sort of had a conversation and touched base.

ANYWAY, Dave's recent comment about sponsoring a competition to build/design a humane mouse removal system made me laugh because it reminded me of one of my favorite stories about one of my favorite people. Let's call this favorite person of mine Dot. .

Approximately 50 yrs ago when I was in college, I took a wood working/sculpture art class. Dot . . was in the class with me and we had the greatest, hippy dippy pot head, free spirited, prof on the planet. I am pretty sure her name was Willow or Pond Frond or something like that. She really might have been the very definition of "Art Professor at a Liberal Arts College" . . . only maybe more so if it were circa 1972 and we were at Berkley. But whatever you get my drift, she saw beauty in everything and applauded all effort regardless of talent.

Well, one of our assignments was to build a trap. In her free spirited way she didn't define the assignment any more clearly that that. As you can imagine this made me nearly apoplectic and made Dot . . just ignore the assignment. So a few weeks went by and on presentation day Dot . . appeared in class frazzled and holding what sort of resembled a mini McDonalds constructed out of scrap wood and covered in still wet paint. The ensuing conversation when something like this:

me: what is that?
Dot.. : a mouse trap.
me: it sort of looks like a McDonalds
Dot.. : it is. its a McDonalds mouse trap
me: how does it trap mice?
Dot.. : they smell the delicious fries, come through the front doors and get trapped b/c the doors only open inwards.
Dot.. : shut up
me: and who's making the fries in there? other mean spirited mice? i mean you can't fit a cat in there.
Dot.. : shut up

The greatest part of this story is that Willow Pond Frond completely overlooked the fact that there was a drive thru (let alone a staff of hair netted misanthropic mice) thereby completely negating any sort of effective trapping and gave Dot . . an A on the assignment.

So, Dave the most humane of all mouse traps has already been designed. I just need to staff it with meanie mice, teach them how to make fries, and put a mini pylon cone in the drive thru, and I am all set.

In case you were wondering, my trap was the Corporate Trap. It consisted of a business suit and button up shirt purchased at Goodwill that I converted into a straight jacket. It was my short lived rebellion against grown ups asking me what I was going to do after college.

Arguably the best trap was crafted by a female classmate who dragged a lazy boy recliner into the art studio, put a cooler of beer and a bag of chips next to it and surrounded the whole thing with a shower curtain covered in taped up pictures of Victoria Secret and Sport Illustrated Swim Suit models. She called it, The Man Trap.

Metaphors

I recently learned where the term Humble Pie came from and its gross. Not as gross as that guy's butt cut-mustashe combo but close.

The term comes from "umbles pie", umbles being the innards or leftover parts of cows, sheep, goat, whathaveyou. So umbles were what was left over after all the good stuff went to the rich folk. Ergo, someone who was "eating umbles pie" was so po they had to eat icky leftover parts.

Some how in the olden days, eating left over remnant animal parts was humbling. Today you'd pay $6 for the tubular equivalent at a ball park and feel all American pastimey about it.

Humble Pie is also a band from the 1970s . . .


In case you were wondering, it is definitely a mouse eating my maters. I found wee little poops on the stove the other night (this definitely rules Kelly out). It is also apparently on steroids, because despite the placement of a rather heavy (by mouse terms of course, I mean their arms are like a half inch long) ceramic plate the pest got into the tomatoes and ate half of one leaving the rest to goo out all over the others.

I have still not entirely warmed to the mouse trap idea but I'm getting there.

A Mouse in the House

For real, we have a mouse in the house. How do I know this, you might wonder. Well, oddly enough not through any of the tell tale mouse-in-the-house indicators:

mini poops scattered about - nope, not a one
little gnaw marks on plastic bags full of cookies - also nope
the patter-skid of little mouse feet when you walk into the kitchen - thankfully, uh uh
a half eaten piece of cheese strategically left out on the couter - nope, the freaking chunk of cheese didn't have so much as whisker marks on it from a curious mouse sniffing

So, how do I know there is a mouse in the house . . . b/c it keeps eating my tomatoes. Every morning I walk out to my garden and I pick a bountiful supply of tomatoes. I bring them inside and put them in this nice little wicker'ish basket. And there they sit until I get home in the evening and make a salad or a sauce or slice up some mozz and basil.

Well the other morning as I was loading up the wicker basket with a new batch of maters I noticed that one of the ones on the top from yesterday's heap had the middle chewed out of it. I was flabbergasted. Only one of them was eaten out of and the little bugger didn't even have the courtesy to finish it. Just a few mouse mouthfulls and off he went.



I really wasn't convinced it was a mouse b/c it was only one tomato and it was sort of a smallish "bite" and all the other dry goods on our counter top were left totally unmolested. So I thought maybe it was a bug of some sort. Well the next morning, same thing, different tomato. So, I took to covering my wicker basket-o-tomatoes with a plate. This seemed to work rather effectively for several days. And I figured it was totally some icky punk bug and not a mouse and moved on. I mean a tomato eating mouse? Odd, right?

Then one evening I forgot to replace the plate after using some of the tomatoes. The next morning, TWO tomatoes had bite holes in their middles. The little stinker had totally just been waiting for me to get careless. So now I am finding it really hard to believe that this is a a bug b/c, not that mice are known for their acumen but I sort of couldn't bring myself to credit a bug with that sort of laying in wait strategery.

My counter move? I put a piece of cheese right in front of the wicker basket and went to bed. The next morning . . . NADA. I dunno maybe there is some sort of mouse school they all go to that teaches them that if ever there is cheese just laying about it is most certainly a trap. But whatever, this mouse bypassed the cheese and went straight for the tomatoes.

I actually started getting suspicious that this was Kelly, sneaking into the kitchen after I had gone to bed and carving out a little hole in the tomatoes just to get a kick out of me getting all worked up and playing Nancy Drew and the Mysterious Vegetarian Mouse. I in fact became some convinced of this that I confronted her on it when I found yet another gnawed on tomato After she worked through her fit of laughter she pointed out that there were actually little mouse teeth marks on the tomato.

So, we have a mouse in the house. Kelly wants to kill it. I am having a hard time getting on board with that. She said that if I could find a way to gently trap it she'd be happy to go dispose of it in some field somewhere. As of yet I have not found any mouse traps that do not either snap the neck of the the mouse or glue his little feet to a box bottom until he starves to death. I dislike both of those options.

I sort of feel like my tomato plants are yielding enough tomatoes for both of us. And I am intrigued by this little guy. I mean what sort of mouse bypasses cheese for veggies? A special sort of mouse, I say. . . and I think Erica would agree.

In case you were wondering why I keep using the masculine pronoun to refer to the mouse, I think it is because when I was a kid two of my favorite books were Stuart Little and The Mouse and the Motorcycle. Both of those mice were boy mice.

Mankind is Noodlekind

Yesterday marked the 50th anniversary of the instant noodle phenom Ramen Noodles. They were invented in 1958 by Momofuku Ando and today nearly 100 billion are sold each year (this is totally gross to me). Almost more popular than the noodles themselves is Ando, who despite being entirely unknown to the hundreds of college students who consider ramen a suitable form of sustenance, is somewhat of a hero in his home country of Japan.

Ando developed Ramen Noodles at the age of 48 in response to the Japanese post war food shortage. At the time it was highly desired but considered a luxury item b/c of its high cost of Y35 (~75 cents, this is how hard life was in post war Japan). Thirteen years later Ando unveiled Ramen Cup Noodles, which we can thank for dropping the cost to like 14 cents a package and for the proliferation of completely non biodegradable polystyrene containers.

As a result of Ando's commitment to the development of food like products the Japanese government awarded him with numerous medals and accolades. His highest honor was receiving the The Order of the Rising Sun, Gold and Silver Star, Second Class. This is the 2nd most prestigious Japanese decoration for Japanese civilians. Perhaps if he had invented SPAM he would have scored the Gold and Silver Star, First Class.

In addition to all of his major awards, In April of 2008 a statue of Ando was unveiled in front of the Nissin's Instant Ramen Museum. I can't even imagine how NOT fascinating that museum must be. The statue's unveiling was attended by (and I quote) "Japanese dignitaries" who were there in attendance of The World Instant Noodle Summit. Yeah, seriously.

This of course is actually pretty small potatoes in comparison to the fact that when Ando passed away in January of 2007 they held his funeral in a baseball stadium with 6 thousand people in attendance. The funeral included speeches by the Prime Minister and a goodie bag that contained, among others things, a Cup of Noodles and a copy of a book of Ando's famous sayings.

I find the whole thing wonderfully inane. I mean he stepped up and fed hungry people in a hard time in Japan's history and had the story ended there I believe Ando would be rightly considered a heroic pioneer. The fact that soggy noodles in salty water with dehydrated corn or its sibling brick-o-noodles has lived on to this very day, does not take away from his innovation in a time of need but it sure is entertaining.

In case you were wondering, here are a few Ando gems:

"I invented instant ramen when I was 48 and Cup Noodles at 61. In life, there is no such thing as too late."

When you enter a market, do it slowly. When you withdraw, do it quickly."

"Flavors taste best to those who appreciate them"

and his most famous: "Mankind is Noodlekind."

Have You Missed Me?

In case you were wondering . . .

The US Women's team has beaten Japan 4-2 and will be advancing to the final gold medal game on Thursday 8/21 at 9am EST (probably on MSNBC). They will be playing Brazil who beat Germany 4 -1 earlier this morning.

If someone at the restaurant Julip in Jackson, MS tells you that it is "Free glass of wine night" and then goes on to explain that means that if you order a full bottle you get a free glass, what they mean is that if you order a full bottle of wine you a free EMPTY glass. No lie. And even if you ask the waitress "does the free glass of wine apply to dessert wines?" Her answer will be "yeah" and then will have no compunction charging you.

If you are a fan of the Pogues and enjoy music in Irish pubs, you should check out the band Flogging Molly. If you have ears you should check out the band Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Ok that's all for now. Go USA.

A Heavy Heart

In case you were wondering, the US Women's Olympic soccer team lost to Norway 2-0 this morning in their opening match. It was a poor performance from the US. Far beneath their potential. Which, as frustrating as that is, is also hopeful that they'll step it up for their next two games and this Norwegian blunder will become irrelevant.

If you weren't wondering, that might be because you had no idea that the Olympics had even started. And officially, they haven't but since there are so many soccer matches to play they start those game a few days early.

Or maybe you weren't wondering because you don't really care about/follow women's soccer. Well, let's see if we can change that. Because you should care, if only for the next 18 days.

Here is a quick cheat sheet: There are 12 teams divided into three Groups: E, F, G (the men have 16 teams and are groups A, B, C, & D). The top two teams from each group advance plus the top two 3rd place teams from the three groups. In their group (G) the US faces, Norway (done not good), Japan (tough but beatable), and New Zealand (krazy kiwis just tied Japan). Confused? Ok, just cheer for the US. After the loss they just suffered, they're going to need all the remote cheering you can muster.

There next game is against Japan on 8/9 at 5:00am on the USA Network (my mom suggests using your TiVo). I know, its early. But hey the Olympics only comes around every 4 years (well the summer edition). And if you can't really muster the energy to watch soccer at the butt crack of dawn well then just see if you can dream about diving header goals, magical first touches, an impenetrable US goal, and a Red, White, & Blue romp.

In case you have an eagle eye, pay attention when they pan the sidelines and you might catch a glimpse of Erica Walsh, assistant coach of the US Women's Olympic Soccer team.

Zero Dollars

Today I accomplished something I never thought possible. I walked out of Target without spending a single dollar. . . or cent for that matter.

No Lie!

Here is how it went down . . . I walked in with my list - after one too many Target trips that resulted in me walking out of there with $100 worth of useless nick nackety trinkets I now never walk in there without a list. My list had 5 items on it.

Before I had been in the store 5 minutes I had already loaded my cart with several non list items. This of course is normal and each item had been assessed for 1. entertainment value = check 2. cheapness = check and 3. necessariness = deemed irrelevant see #1 and #2. Then I hit the section of the store where my list items were located. Surprisingly, Target had none of my list items, not one.

So, I started wandering down the kitchen aisle looking for potential new gadgets that I certainly don't need but would assuredly be wicked fun to use every 6 months. Then, so as to not walk out of Target a consumer failure, I started mentally adding to my list. I could for sure use some new shampoo and what about a new CD case for all my picture discs. Ooh and I have been meaning to get new pens, the ones at work are crappy. And then this thought popped into my head "you could just leave, you know".

It took me a minute to process this avant garde concept and while it swirled around in my brain, I took inventory of my cart. . . . a mini globe ($1 and would be so fun at work), airwick refills ($5, on sale, I think I have one of these), pink tie-die croc knock offs ($9.99, pink-croc-knock offs, need i say more), a canvass bag made entirely of recycled materials ($6, dubious claim, i know), and turkey jerkey.

I don't know where the moment of sanity came from but I just stopped my cart in the middle of the aisle and walked right out of the store. I felt so liberated. So, freed from the irresistible siren song of consumerism. I even felt a little bit proud of myself. I realize this seems pretty ridiculous, never the less it is an accomplishment that has always eluded me.

In case you were wondering, I am plagued with guilt right now that I just left a cart full of stuff sitting in an aisle for someone else to have to restock.

Mixed Bag

I feel like I really shouldn't do another post about my garden or a veggie theme of any kind or I risk chasing off the 4 of you who actually read this thing. Variety is the spice of life after all so today's posting will be a mixed bag of randomness that I have stumbled across and found interesting:

1. I don't know anything about flowers but I like taking their picture:




In case you were wondering this is a flower my mom is growing and I don't have the foggiest idea what sort of flower it is.


2. There is a test called the wonderlic test. It is a 50 question test that is supposed to gauge an person's aptitude for "learning and problem-solving in a wide range of occupations." A score of 20 indicates average intelligence and corresponds to an IQ of 100. Apparently it is the working world's equivalent of the SAT.

(For sample questions: http://www.professormoney.com/wonderlic%20sample%20test.htm)

Ok, so you probably don't think that in and of itself isn't all that interesting and I didn't either until I found out that pretty much the only company that uses this test to screen future employees, is the NFL. They actually make their pre-draft picks take it, no lie. I find this to be hilarious. Not that football players can't be intelligent people but really, is it really a primary criteria? Well, despite making their draft picks sit through the test, it apparently does not actually play that large a role in the selection process. Here are the average scores per position:

Offensive tackle: 26
Center: 25
Quarterback: 24
Guard: 23
Tight End: 22
Safety: 19
Linebacker: 19
Cornerback: 18
Wide Receiver: 17
Fullback: 17
Halfback: 16

And apparently it shouldn't really guide draft decisions because, as one might guess of a standardized aptitude test, it really isn't a very good indicator of how good someone might be at football. For example Vince Young, the Titan's star QB, scored a SIX on the test. And Dan Marino only scored a 14. Maybe if he'd scored higher he would be wearing a Superbowl ring . . . NO WAY. Don't get me wrong, I am not sure how Mr. Young can dress himself and only score a 6 on this test (i'd like to pause here to offer up a sample question: The ninth month of the year is: October, January, June, September, or May) but I still don't see what it has to do with football.

Now to be fair, there are NFLers who do very well on the test. Like this years Superbowl QBs Tom Brady and Eli Manning who scored a 33 and 39 respectively. Anyway, I think its funny that an IQ test is part of being drafted into the NFL. That's all.

In case you were wondering, here are the average scores of non NFL occupations:

Chemist: 31
Programmer: 29
Journalist: 26
Sales: 24
Bank Teller: 22
Clerical worker: 21
Security Guard: 17
Warehouse worker: 15

Someone should go tell the Security Guard that he could be making millions playing wide receiver for the NFL.

3. Leon Kass was the Chairman of President Bush's Council on Bioethics. He is what one would call extremely right wing, nut job, conservative. For example, he finds eating ice cream uncivilized. For you doubters, here is an excerpt from his book "The Hungry Soul"

"Worst of all from this point of view are those more uncivilized forms of eating, like licking an ice cream cone --a catlike activity that has been made acceptable in informal America but that still offends those who know eating in public is offensive. I fear I may by this remark lose the sympathy of many reader, people who will condescendingly regard as quaint or even priggish the view that eating in the street is for dogs. Modern America's rising tide of informality has already washed out many long-standing traditions -- their reasons long before forgotten -- that served well to regulate the boundary between public and private; and in many quarters complete shamelessness is treated as proof of genuine liberation from the allegedly arbitrary constraints of manners. To cite one small example: yawning with uncovered mouth. Not just the uneducated rustic but children of the cultural elite are now regularly seen yawning openly in public (not so much brazenly or forgetfully as indifferently and "naturally"), unaware that it is an embarrassment to human self-command to be caught in the grip of involuntary bodily movements (like sneezing, belching, and hiccuping and even the involuntary bodily display of embarrassment itself, blushing). But eating on the street -- even when undertaken, say, because one is between appointments and has no other time to eat -- displays in fact precisely such lack of self-control: It beckons enslavement to the belly. Hunger must be sated now; it cannot wait. Though the walking street eater still moves in the direction of his vision, he shows himself as a being led by his appetites. Lacking utensils for cutting and lifting to mouth, he will often be seen using his teeth for tearing off chewable portions, just like any animal. Eating on the run does not even allow the human way of enjoying one's food, for it is more like simple fueling; it is hard to savor or even to know what one is eating when the main point is to hurriedly fill the belly, now running on empty. This doglike feeding, if one must engage in it, ought to be kept from public view, where, even if WE feel no shame, others are compelled to witness our shameful behavior."

In case you were wondering, I am still trying to figure out how it is that you can be unaware of the embarrassment of blushing.

4. I have hired a guard dog to protect my garden from vermin intruders. We decided that in order to maximize success we needed to employ the element of surprise. So, Finnegan has gone deep cover:


In case you were wondering, that's all for today.

No Such Thing as a Cute Squirrel

I have a friend named Erica. She is what one would call an animal lover. She is one of those special people who feel an intimate and powerful kinship to the creatures of the world and she doesn't really discriminate. She has a favorite of course, her dog Finnigan, but other than Finny all animals/insects/reptiles/rodents are the same.

Now she's pretty normal about it. You're not going to catch her throwing red paint at people wearing baby seal coats - although she'd consider it but pretty much anyone with a soul should consider it. She's just an animal lover and in fact she's heading off to veterinary school in the Fall so she can be a professional animal lover.

So you might be thinking ok, great for Erica but why exactly is the blog spot light on her? Well you see a few nights ago Erica and I were hanging out chit chatting about this and that when before I know it she is showing me pictures, on her phone, of a litter of baby squirrels she rescued not long ago. She kept trying to convince me that they were so very cute - as only an animal lover or the mother of a goopy newborn can - when really they looked like goopy alien rodents. Despite that fact that newborn anythings are not cute (miraculous/amazing/pure joy, sure. cute, not usually) these things were squirrels who I am currently at war with. Now not these baby squirrels in particular. But give it time. I have no idea what the life span of a squirrel is but as soon as they can I know they'll be pillaging my garden just like the rest of their kind.

So far squirrels have ruined the only yellow squash my plant has managed to yield, my very first chocolate pepper, and now my very first tomato. And here's the thing, they don't just bite it off the vine and scurry away with it to enjoy in their icky nests in our attic, they just take tiny little bites out of the veggie and leave it there. So, I go out to my garden and I see a a perfectly ripe tomato and I get so very excited (ok, more so then perhaps necessary but it is my first tomato in my first garden so whatever) . . .



And then gently twist it off the vine and on the other side I see this . . . .



My lovely tomato with a big gross rodent bite out of it and you just know that it has been macked all over by little squirrel lips.

So, Erica this is why I don't think squirrels are cute. Not at all cute. I do still admire your animal version of the Hippocratic oath and I am glad to know that when I mow down a family of garden thieving squirrels you'll be there to get them back on their feet.

In case you were wondering (Anna), these are the veggies we got from the CSA yesterday (pen for scale, that didn't come with the veggies)

Bear Creek Lake State Park

Several months ago, on a post Parisian trip high, Kelly and I earmarked the week of June 23rd for a return trip to Paris. Our host with the most is soon departing Paris and we wanted to squeeze in one last trip . . you know, Paris in the Springtime la dee dah.

Sadly, as fate would have it two trips to Paris in one year just wasn't in the cards. Wow, just attempting to plan that sounds rather decadent. We resigned ourselves to not going but didn't totally abandon some sort of get away. Instead of gai Pari we settled on a camping trip in central Virginia. Decent trade off don't cha think?

After more research than necessary for this sort of a trip I selected Bear Creek State Park (http://www.dcr.virginia.gov/state_parks/bea.shtml#contactinfo). It was my first time in a Va State Park and according to the sign on the way into the park we were in for a spectacular time as the sign decleared "Welcome to Virginia State Parks, Voted Best in Country". By whom? I have no idea. When? Also no idea? Were there other State Parks on the ballot? Again, we'll just have to take the sign's word for it. In any case, Best in the Country or not, Bear Creek State park is a delightful little get away.

Its about a 2.5 hr drive from DC, if you don't hit any traffic, and it offers such ammenities as lake side campsites, boat rentals, sandy beachy area, decent trails to wander around on, and some great fishing . . . so long as you don't consider actually catching anything a requirement of great fishing. We were lucky enough to get a campsite right along the lake, which really would have been perfect if the people in the adjacent campsite weren't camping with a toddler that cried in 20 min intervals. And why I say cry, I mean wailed like someone had just dropped it from some great height. And when I say in 20 min intervals, I really mean it. Now I really am all for bringing your kids camping. My brother and I were hauled all around the German wilderness at relatively young ages and I think we're all the better for it - even if my brother never sets foot in a tent again. But seriously, either that kid hates camping or he has only one method of communicating.

Anyway, aside from the wailer they were pretty good campsite neighbors. The husband even came over one evening to tell us that he had just been chased out of the back of his truck by a 6 foot opossum. He seemed rather calm about the whole affair. We were decidedly less calm.

Other highlights:

1. we did get two nibbles while fishing but I was actually rather happy we didn't catch anything since we didn't have the tools to do anything about a fish stuck on a hook at the end of our poles. we did "catch" other things.



2. we got to see a cute little family of turtles sunning themselves as well as a little baby turtle breaking out on his own. yes, this is a highlight.



3. we took a hike/stroll in the woods to go see a swinging bridge crossing the Willis River and when we arrived it was currently under construction as the result of wood rot. Not to be deterred we set off in the other direction to see the other swinging bridge crossing another part of the Willis River. this one was decidedly not under construction but should have been. I skittered across it while Kelly wisely waiting on shore - at the ready in case she had to find some long log to drag me out of the river when the swinging bridge collapsed.

Under Construction

Should have been under construction


4. on the way home we stopped at Chubby's and got gas for $3.82 and a Chubby Cherry Chiller.


All in all it was a nice little get away despite not being Paris.

In case you were wondering, I recently took a ride in an envirocab and it was a delightful experience. Money meet mouth.

This Just In . . .

. . . Envirocab proves to be a reasonable option.

Ok so within 48 hrs of learning about envirocab I was able to get some "front line" reporting of the envirocab experience. This is either because my brother loves me very much, because I have mastered the art of persuasion, or because its easier to just give my suggestions a try than listen to me argue and sigh. Or perhaps because he is also interested in being a good steward of the earth. Regardless, here's what came to pass. . .

My brother needed a cab to pick him up at my house, conveniently located in Arlington, and trek him to Union Station. I suggested envirocab and he obliged. On his return trip he decided to take one of the zillion cabs awaiting him at Union Station. Below is his compare and contrast of the two experiences:

"A Thursday afternoon cab ride in the envirocab went like this. I called the number and asked that the cab pick me up at your house at 4PM and take me to union station. The deal with them is that the trip has to originate or terminate in Arlington in order for them to come get you. Around 3:50, I got a call from the cab driver who was informing me he was on his way. I got in the cab, he had the A/C cranking, it smelled, but it was a new car, I think it was the cabbie that smelled. His name was Gebbeheyui Maskeratakal… the cab is $2.75, and 30 cents per 1/6^th of a mile, and 30 cents per 48 seconds of waiting time. I’m not making that up, its 48 seconds. They have a pretty cool navigation system in the car that the cabbie explained to me, and near as I can tell, what he said was, when I called to get the cab, they sent him the address to get me and the destination through the system, so he can basically follow the directions to get me there. It tells you how much further and what not. A pretty nice system. So in closing on the envirocab, it was a newer car, a clean car, and a friendly nice driver with nav. The cab fare was $24.50 not including tip

On Saturday night I got into “World Cab” Lincoln town car from the late 80’s. I noticed on the window a sticker that said “Warning: Do not Slam the door” so I didn’t, I just closed it, but it popped back open, so I pulled it shut again, and it popped back open again, the cab began to depart the station and I said “ummm, the door is not shut” and so he said “you have to slam it.” I promise this is a true story. I said “ok, but the sticker says to not slam it” and he said, it won’t close otherwise. So I did and it stuck this time, I immediately put my seatbelt on... just in case. This cab was old, not really smelly, but the leather was torn and old, and it had no A/C, and no window controls, so I had to ask the cab driver to open my window. I noticed on his console it said “Dist. To Empty – 3” and I said, ummm you have enough gas to get there and he said “that’s not right, its about 10 miles off, so I’ll get you there, or at least close” I was like, ummm ok, well do you have a contingency if we run out of gas, clearly a rhetorical question cause he didn’t answer. At idle the car rumbled like we were doing 30mph off roading… We did get there, finally after 68403 speed humps, each of which I swore was going to cause the gas tank to fall out from under the car. The cab fare was $19.50 not including tip.

My vote, its worth the extra money to not have to ride in a total clap trap, and save the earth a little. "

As fate would have it, another opportunity to test out envirocab came along Friday night when an out of town friend needed a cab to get back to my house from a local Arlington watering hole. Around 1:00am said friend dialed up environcab and requested a pick up. Unfortunately, envirocab wasn't going to be able to get to her for 25 min. In contrast there was a Red Top cab right in front of her available for immediate transport.

So, we've got a few questions answered:
1. envirocab seems to be a bit more expensive but safer, cleaner, and more likely to get you directly to your destination.
2. envirocab is licensed to take you anywhere in the Northern Va area so long as your trip originates or terminates in Arlington county - including National Airport.
3. envirocab does not seem to force you to listen to liberal news sources or bad hippi music
4. you're likely to have to wait for an envirocab at 2:00 on a Saturday so call ahead.

Clearly more research needs to be done and envirocab has a long way to go before it can reasonably compete with the other main cab companies in the area. However, I got it on good authority that Red Top is now replacing its retired cabs with hybrids. So, maybe all envirocab has to do is steal a little of the market share to spur on change. I'd call that a success. Of course given the conditions of my brother's World Cab one might wonder if cab companies ever actually retire old cabs.

In case you were wondering, I just went to pick up my weekly veggies and an envirocab was there dropping off one of my fellow CSA'ers.

Arlington PSA

If you happen to live in Arlingon and ever find yourself in need of a cab ride might I recommend EnviroCab (http://www.envirotaxicab.com/) soon to be the first carbon-negative taxicab company in the world.* This makes me so very happy because its a "no duh" type of thing that can be easily and locally done to ease our impact on the earth without relegating us all to self propelled vehicles. It just makes good sense.

*pending Arlington Transportation Commission's final approval of their taxi licenses.

Now I don't know if the cost of the cab is greater than normal, I don't know if they service National Airport, I don't know if they can travel into DC, I don't know if you'll be forced to listen to NPR or sing rounds of Koom By Ya, and I don't know how long you'd have to wait for one at 2:00am on a Saturday night. However, I have programmed their number into my phone and I am trying to convince my brother to give them a call for his upcoming trip. So I intend to give them a try.

If you live in Arlington, you should too. I mean normal cabs aren't so great that it isn't at least worth a shot. If nothing else they'll smell like patchouli instead of BO.

Ok so, sorry if you don't live in Arlington because I realize that this isn't much of a Public Service Announcement for you BUT it is helping to save your earth and perhaps there is something similar in your neck of the woods.

In case you were wondering, another way to keep up to date on Arlington news is the Arlington Alerts mailing list: https://www.arlingtonalert.com They just emailed me to tell me that the Orange line of the metro is experiencing significant delays. Boy I bet those commuters would love to know abut EnviroCab.

Bull Run Farm

Yesterday marked our long awaited inaugural CSA pick-up. Yessireee, yesterday Kelly and I got our first 'peck' of veggies from our Bull Run Farm CSA. For the past two weeks, Farmer Leigh has been sending some very detailed emails about the process of veggie pick-up. Turns out its pretty simple:

Grab a canvass bag, form a line with your fellow CSA'ers, evesdrop for tips being handed out by "the veterans", walk by a bunch of crates all containing vegetables you've never seen in your life, grab your assigned portion, move to the next crate of unknown vegetables, go home and stare at your bounty with wonder and confusion.

So here is what we came home with:

Pac Choi - yes I mean Pac not Bok although after extensive google research we cannot discern the difference between the two.
Broccoli - ok we recognized this one
Garlic Snapes - totally had to google this one and its worth doing b/c they're apparently tasty treats
Baby Onions
Salad Mix
Calendula - apparently its an edible flower that is a good addition to salads. personally I think it is not tasty
Oregano
Chives
Sorrel - looks like spinach but with bigger leaves

I have to say the entire event took 10 min and was really pretty fun and rather gratifying. I did finally get to meet Farmer Leigh and he's not nearly the character that his emails would lead you to believe. And he has "very nice blue eyes" according to Kelly. I didn't notice, I was too busy trying to figure out what in the world to do with this . . .

Scapes

A lifetime supply of Pac Choi

Calendula - better as a flower than a food

In case you were wondering, my own garden is doing quite well too. . . despite being pillaged by squirrels and rabbits. Before I left for Anna's wedding I had two lovely little squashes, now I only have one . . .

But so far my tomatoes are untouched and looking quite delightful . . .

In the Eye of the Beholder

Anna and Jody got married this week-end down in Kitty Hawk, NC. It was a beautiful intimate beach ceremony that even the 101 degree, burst into flames temperature couldn't make any less lovely.

This morning I was doing the post event picture review to see what sort of gems I managed to capture. Being in the wedding made it a bit difficult to get pictures of the actual ceremony or some of the reception traditions but I did the best I could. I was pleased with some, entertained by some, and down right confused by others - sometimes I am just not sure what I think I see when I press "click"

Anyway, at the end of the batch were two of my favorite pictures. I didn't take them so I can say that. They were taken by Kayla, the 3 year old granddaughter of the proprietors of the B&B hosting the reception. She was quite an unexpected bundle of entertainment all week-end long . . . running around in her underwear blowing bubbles, following the bridesmaids around parroting "pretty dresses, pretty dresses", and sneaking into the Dywer family photo.

She's not a shy kid and at one point during the reception while I was sitting on the porch steps taking a breather she toddled over and said (arms outstretched channeling Oliver Twist) "camera please". Of course I obliged and then attempted to show her how to use the camera properly. She had absolutely no interest in this lesson and pried the camera out of my hands and started snapping away. After a few minutes of this I managed to convince Kayla that a camera of her very own was way better than my camera and I traded her for one of those disposable wedding cameras. She looked at it suspiciously for a moment or two and then toddled off to fill up 24 frames with pictures that I would bet look a lot like what she left on my camera . . .





In case you were wondering, Anna and Jody left this morning for 2 weeks in Thailand. I think they're going to keep an online journal of their trip and if they do, I'll be sure to share.