Exotic Isn't Always A Good Thing

So the other day I was at the grocery store (wow is that the most mundane opening sentence ever written? I think maybe yes).

But whatever, I LOVE the grocery store. For real, I thoroughly enjoy grocery stores. I love wandering the aisles looking at all the possible things I can make and eat. Its like my own person episode of Iron Chef. I particularly like foreign grocery stores - either those actually IN foreign places or those here in America that cater to a non American nationalities. But I digress. The grocery store playing the role of "scene location" in this story was a run of the mill Harris Teeter.

On this particular day I came across a very unrun of the mill gem. It was a most exotic and eye catching item set among a few other less exotic fruits. It as a spikey, sunrise orange colored, football shaped thingie ma bobber that just looked like it grew must have been plucked from some giant lush green tree deep in some tropical jungle. It was firm and without fragrance and after a bit of looking about I spied the label. My new discovery was none other than the Kiawano Horned Melon.

As I dropped it into my basket I began dreaming of a lovely tropical fruit salad bursting with vibrant colors and luscious flavors. Something that could only be truly enjoyed by someone clad in a sarong, lounging on a sun bleached beach, washing down this delightful fruit with a cool icy beverage. As I slipped out of my day dream and back into Harris Teeter on this cold March day I make a mental note to check the Discount Vacation Packages on the expedia.com page. (NOTE: I really had no idea if the horned melon is actually a tropical fruit. For all I knew it was a native of in central Russia)

I scurried home, (after purchasing a delightful array of accompanying fruits) and got right down to the business of chopping and slicing and dicing. I saved the Kiwano for last. I really wasn't sure what sort of fruit it was going to be when i carved into it. And to be honest it wasn't at all what I expected . . and by that I mean it wasn't at all 'melony'. It was almost entirely filled with seeds. Sort of like a pomegranate but with less fleshy seeds and more mucasie surroundings. I'll spare you a more detailed description of the pulp, meat, insides of this fruit.


In the end, despite the colorful textured exterior and the icky interior the taste was a wholesale disappointment. It was neither exotic or icky, it was tasteless. If I had to ascribe a taste too it I would say it was like eating water flavored jello with the little bits of cardboard sprinkled in. This is vastly different from what it is apparently supposed to taste like, which according to wikipedia is:

"The dark-green pulp of this unique fruit has a delightfully refreshing flavor profile evocative of bananas, limes, and passionfruit."


I detected none of these flavors.

In case you were wondering, the horned melon is native to the Kalahari desert, and is now grown in California and New Zealand. So, not at all tropical, not at all delightful.