The Nutter Returns

Ok so you may or may not give two shakes about March Madness (it started yesterday with Xavier vs Georgia) but regardless of your interest in the actual tournament (which is really pretty fun even if you don't care about college basketball) you will LOVE this article:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080318

You will love it b/c it is penned by The Nutter Sports Girl (aka Bill Simmon's wife/The Sports Gal). She is arguably the funniest person I have never met. She guest writes in her husband's weekly sports column for ESPN. How it all started is a long story that is rather irrelevant. All that is important is that this women continues to get a platform from which to share with us such gems as:

1. "A few years ago, my friend Allie was a one-night stand for Halloween . . . I told Bill about Allie's costume and made the mistake of asking what his favorite Halloween costume was. He said it was the time his friend Geoff dressed as a poop. I guarantee that my second husband will appreciate Halloween."

2. "US Weekly has a feature called "Who Wore it Best?" where 100 people in NYC choose between side-by-side photos of two celebs wearing the same outfits, then the results run in the magazine. I hate this feature because the judges have no credentials and could be homeless or Russian for all we know."

3. " Bill and his friend Hench own a fake baseball team together. I call it the League of Dorks. . . Bill said they won first prize. . .Then he said he's having a celebratory lunch with Hench next week. I said they should order a bottle of fake champagne and fake pour it on each other. I hate the League of Dorks.

Ok. I could do that for hours so instead, here is the full archive of The Nutter in all her comic splendor.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=sportsgal/070105

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=bachelor/070403

I sort of wish I could meet her b/c I think it would be awesome to have a friend who was a guaranteed source of insane, random hilarity. But there is part of me that worries that she just might not be as funny in person. Good thing the odds of me ever meeting her hover right around zero.

In case you were wondering, I used her picks for my March Madness bracket. If her totally ridiculous logic is as dead on accurate with Basketball as it is with Football I am totally winning my pool.